lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
