I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
