Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
