Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
