My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
