yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
