Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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