ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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