what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why do cheetos always look like penises
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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