so that wasnt chicken after all
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
