everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize