I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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