I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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