He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I party with great urgency now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
