Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
