he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
