You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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