is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
