Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
