Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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