There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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