well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
