I smell stomach acid.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
