Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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