Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
how drunk are you?
Several
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
