Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
