haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
