I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
