I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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