i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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