new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
