I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
