I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
