You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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