Im at strip club and am horny
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I need a burrito and a hug.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize