I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
