No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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