Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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