Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
