I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
