my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
