I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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