Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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