Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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