Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
