My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
