Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
