May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
