yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
