Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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